Please explain to me why you lie....

So I go to school hoping to finish some work because I need it done by tomorrow, and Tom can't stay with Jesse by himself and calls me. I'm on the bus heading downtown. I get a call, "You need to came back." What I wrote was a much nicer version of what he was saying, but anyway...
I asked, "why?"...and then i hear Jesse screaming his lungs out. I was gone for no more than 20 minutes and already he can't take care of his son...how sad.
I gave him helpful advice, but turns around and tells me to "shut the fuck up and get my ass home now -click-"...how nice
so my life is pretty fucked up especially since i am pregnant again...and he doesn't know.... he doesn't want another kid right now...so what do i do? i don't know.
But then again, this could be good. I could go to his work and let all the girls who he;s been "hanging out" with know that he fucks me every time he sees me and that i am carrying his second child...that might deter them from pursuing him right? i think so....
well that's what he gets, he screwed me so I'll screw him over.

have a lovely day!

The end of an era...

Okay...maybe not an era, but a big part of my life has just disappeared. Tommy, love of my life and father of my child, has ended our 3+ year relationship today. I was on his computer looking through some stuff and I come to find that he's been lying to me for months... he goes out to "work" or "hang out with the guys"...and where does he go? to hang out with girls he works with, girls that want him...
See, he has this problem. When he feels insecure, we go on a "break" and he goes off to find any girl that's willing to worship the ground he walks on and does GOD KNOWS what with her and then comes back to me. Well this time I got proof that he's been chatting and going out with girls he's met online and at work. He's even pretended to be a girl online and had cyber sex with some guys and a girl....so maybe there's a little bit more wrong than I had originally anticipated....
so now I have wasted the past three years of my life with a guy I shouldn't have been with...it doesn't help that I'm 2 years his senior, but by the way he had been acting, you wouldn't have been able to tell either....
So I'm here, crying my eyes out, looking for hope.
If you have any, please let me know.


It's going to be a very long night.....

Song of the Day...

Yea...there is no song...just the first thing I saw when I chose to begin writing my title for this blog....

Life is good...Jesse is moving and shaking like no other, which is a good thing...
Yesterday was sweetest day...and it was wonderful....Tommy came over and we played Scrabble and we cuddled and it was amazing! Then he had to go to work, so I hung around the house until he got home... then we had some more fun and went to bed.


Today was another good day...but I have not studied for a test that I have tomorrow...and I'm not too confident that I will do well....so I am going to go and study so I don't completely fail my first exam of the class....

adieu

Another day...

Life is pretty good right now....
I had a lovely saturday....
I slept in...woke up and had a jam session with my little one (i put headphones on my baby belly and let him rock out to some Billy Joel)...then i cleaned a little bit...set up my computer in my room FINALLY...got to hang out with tommy *wink*wink*....took a nap, went to blockbuster, and pick n' save with tommy...watched Robin Hood Men in Tights...now i'm here....and i'm going to bed...and i am going to have another wonderful day tomorrow....

so ttfn, tata for now.

-A

Wake me up when September ends....

I obviously hit the snooze button on that one!
SO It's now Obtober 6th....wow how time flies....
What has happened since I last wrote?
Not much...
I did however start my third and final trimester on the 28th of September...
Baby time is coming up fast...
It's really weird to think about that....that I...ME...am going to be somebody's mommy....
I mean I know that by nature I'm a very maternal and caring person, but to actually use that on my very own child will be completely different and wonderful....
I'm just glad that I have Tommy with me...if I didn't I'd be a mess, that's for sure....
*sigh*
well I need rest, so I'm gonna nap now...
toodley-oo

Let's talk about......

what an amazing weekend i had....
k...let's just say my boyfriend is amazing and it's a wonder I didn't get pregnant sooner...
besides that, we watched movies, hung out, and just were....it was fantastic.
Great weekend...in spite of the multitude of text messages from other girls...that's the only thing that bugs me about him...he's really good looking and girls are attracted to him...you think that's be great, being able to say "sorry girls he's all mine." right?....wrong
now this wouldn't be a big concern, save for the fact that he has cheated before....so i obviously have a right to be concerned, especially now that we're having a baby, right?
What's worse is I know that's he's lying to me about the text messages he receives from people....he says it's from facebook when i have access to his account and there is nothing there....it's frustrating!!! and he always uses his friends as excuses for where he goes....especially his friend 'x'....he used him all the time when was cheating....what's sad is that i knew he was cheating and i didn't leave....but what's even worse is that when i point blank asked him about it, he lied...to my face....getting mad at me for accusing him of something like that....god, boys are dumb....
hmmm....i think it's ironic how i started this blog as how great my weekend was, and now it's turned into a rant about how stupid boys can be....
i'm gonna go do something that will make me happy....
i'm gonna watch Pride and Prejudice....that is one movie that can always cheer me up....that or Elizabethtown....
nite all

Lazy Saturday

Today thus far has been okay....
woke up late....began cleaning my room....what a chore! BUT it must be done seeing as I'm only gonna get bigger as time goes on....and bigger = harder to clean small places....plus baby needs room too
Tommy and i went and registered at Wal-Mart.... we figured people might be more inclined to buy from a store that is cheaper...we'll see....
ate lunch, tommy left to do some work, and i'm here cleaning....well now i'm on break bc i can only do so much before i either get irritated, hot, or tired....
so hopefully he'll be coming back soon because i'm lonely....
that is all for now....

end transmission....